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Newbie Gaffes

Gambling Guide

Poker Guide

The following are the gaffes most often encountered at tables where relatively inexperienced poker players are seated.

  • Former Secrets. One of the official rules of poker (see Privacy and Security III) forbids revelations during active hands. In the same vein, one should try never to reveal something about previous hands. Nobody else cares, really. Talking about what was or what might have been is just satisfying a nervous impulse or a thirsty ego. Secrets about the past are not worth passing on. They're just not important any more.
  • Dramatic Reactions. The "poker face" applies to situations other than bets. Any reaction - words or body language - to any situation in an active game can provide information to the still-active players. Folding, for example, and then seeing a wonderful flop might cause a player to swear or moan or even faint. A skilled player could perhaps reconstruct your pocket cards from that reaction and thus understand more about the active cards at the table. Once you have folded, you have an excellent opportunity to work on your poker face while the remaining cards are being revealed.
  • Arrogance. Like young roosters proud of their plumage, some new players feel the need to show off their newly-acquired poker lingo and experience. Sometimes this shows in deprecating another player's moves, or presuming to tell another player how to play. A lot of time it is just crowing about one's own virtues and victories. Most people rightly find this type of player truly odious. Because poker's measure of success is very objective - the most chips at the finish line - there is no reason to imagine that any other form of self-promotion will succeed. When battling this type of person in a poker room, advice from the experts varies. Silence is a good tactic, lest by responding we drop ourselves to the level of the pest.
  • Temper. Any show of temper at a poker table is the behavior of a loser. Going "on tilt" is the principal way good players come undone. Bad players just have more opportunities to have temper tantrums. If your equanimity becomes fragile, take a break. Walk around. Do something else for a while. Many temperamental newcomers punish the dealer for a bad beat or a downfall of some sort. It is never the dealer's fault that you played your cards wrong. And luck falls equally out of the deck on to everyone at the table. So do not throw your cards at the dealer. If anything, the dealer deserves an extra tip for putting up with the likes of you. Another form of temperamental behavior is "splashing the pot" by throwing the chips in. Don't do it. Ever.
  • Table Talk. When a relatively new player has folded, it is not unusual for him or her to start talking, as if someone just pushed a "record" button. This is an annoying gaffe. Table talk is unwelcome. If it is about the hand being played, it is illegal. If it is not about the hand being played, it is distracting. Rarely a folded player might have reason to speak, but in very limited circumstances. For example, a folded player might be able to confirm what an active player said if there was a doubt (as in whether a player said "call" or "raise" in a post-flop bet of an oversized chip). If a player goes "All-in" with lots of chips on the table, an inactive player's help in counting the pot might be welcome. But other than that, silence is golden.
  • Spacing Out. The most common discourtesy of veterans and newcomers alike is failure to act when it is their turn, or action when it is not their turn. The second version is vastly more serious than the first, and it requires a thousand apologies. It is a rule violation and can affect the outcome of the game. It is also subject to penalties (forfeiture of the hand.) The first version, however, happens a lot. If you have to ask whose turn it is, it is probably yours. Another common "space-out" of new players is forgetting to put up the blinds or antes before the deal. This should truly be embarrassing, as it happens before each and every hand. It's not a rare event. Forgetting just holds up the deal. A prickly dealer might penalize the daydreamer by leaving him or her out of a deal, that is, interpret very literally the player's failure to put up the ante or blind.
  • Showing Off. Rarely it is good for your adversaries to know that you won by bluffing. Most of the time, an uncalled winning hand should be mucked with the rest. It's OK to smile and enjoy the win, but there's no need to elaborate. Some newcomers like to show off their hands, even though no one cared to call. This is like Little Jack Horner, needing to say "What a good boy am I!" and it is bush league. (But -- if you do have to show off, make sure everyone gets a look. That's the rule.)
  • Fiddling with Cards, Chips and the Dealer Button. The pocket cards should be out in front, face down, and visible to all players. If you are fiddling with them, you may disclose one to somebody. If they are off the table, another player may think you have folded, and be led to act out of turn. The stack should not be handled like "worry beads." Big chips towards the table, little ones towards the player, in neat stacks. Fussing with chips and cards is surely a "tell" anyway. The Dealer Button needs to be out there and clearly visible to all. Obscuring it or handling it can cause out of turn play and misdeals. No one plays with the dealer button.

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